Hi Luke -

Fascinating. It's good to learn more about you. I have two comments to your post.

  1. The essence of storytelling is not your content, it's what the reader takes away. So it's important to get into the state of the reader. What does he/she know already and what do you want them to take away? For example, you write that the reader needs to read these other books to fully understand what you're talking about. That's not very effective. Your job is to meet the reader where they are at and get them where you want to be. How can you tell your narrative so people without your knowledge can understand your story?
  2. Here's my second challenge to you: can you make your story more succinct? I'm wondering if you can focus it to get to its essential point. If you watch a movie, all the details in the script, all the dialogue, action etc, serve the central purpose. You have a central narrative theme, i.e.. your purpose. Can you tell your story so that your narrative goes to telling that purpose?

Best, Douglas

lkcl140ct2016 - hi douglas, thank you for this. the readers - the primary readers - are the 100 angels. they may never see this: that's okay. i am also one of the primary readers: i'm re-reading this story and it is as much for me as it is for anyone else. now, for everyone else, i appreciate the reminder that any story, even a novel, needs a summary. the story was written in the form of a novel (similar to that of Elizabeth Haich's "Initiation") - a good writer doesn't reveal everything all at once. but, in this case, after a few days having absorbed what i literally wrote on "automatic writing" for four and a half hours straight, yes i need to do a summary (one paragraph).

i get the distinct impression that these prompts really should be the basis for a self-published book, and have sort-of begun the process of writing accordingly. we should talk about that, more.